It's the story you've all been waiting for...what happened @ the bachelorette party!?!? All I knew is that on Wednesday, August 31st, something was gonna go down so I was prepared for anything, almost. I got a text from my sister, Shayna, telling me she'd be at my apartment in 20 minutes. She didn't say anything about what we'd be doing or where so I just put on an outfit and waited. Turns out, I needn't have put on an outfit at all!
It sounds scandalous, I know! As soon as Shayna arrived, she opened a Mary Poppins-esque carry all out of which exploded a cornucopia of white clothing items. She told me I was to change immediately and to don only items that had burst forth from her bag. I emerged robed in white short shorts, a pretty knit tank top and my only white long sleeve item, a lab coat (I looked like a sexy doctor all night, lol). You think I was getting away easy, right? Wrong! Then I got a "Bride to Be" sash (a la beauty pageant), a bride button and to top it all off, a princess tiara complete with veil. I looked smashing, truly.
We rushed from our building and hopped in the WHITE car Shayna had rented and illegally parked outside our building for a quick getaway. Next surprise, Em was waiting in the back seat!! Since I got shotgun, I also got navigator duties and we headed to the Woolwich Arms & Arrow for dinner.
Yay! Everybody was there!! Julia, Erica, Sara, Johanneke, Jane, Fatema and Janiene joined shortly by both Karolina and Anneke! Let us not forget to mention that the rest of the girls were all sporting black, further accentuating my whiteness! Smart Shayna told us to order post haste because the waitress said the kitchen was very busy and we were on a schedule. But we were talking too much and we didn't get to order right away and we ended up having to take almost all of our food with us!! At least we got the appetizers that were ordered before I got there and Sara got her Bison Burger...lol, what is a Bison Burger? It's like a hamburger but it's a leaner meat. What is Leaner?! A Bison is like a...a cow with a beard! Thank you Sara, Julia and Erica for that one, hehehehe.
Not to worry, while we tried to wait for our food, we had plenty to do and talk about, naturally, and I had so many gifts to open!! I wasn't expecting gifts!! I am just so surprised at the naughty nature of my friends!!! So many sexy games and sultry outfits and giggly gifts. Plus glow sticks and a penis straw and a book of erotic poems...ahem! "Himalayan ballsack, and it's purple!"
That sent us roaring and of course, that is NOT how the poem actually goes! Emily had little WTF dares for me to complete and first on the list was to get a kiss on the cheek from 2 strange men. With my girls to back me up, I approached the table next to us...I'm sure they were already impressed by our boisterous festivities so I figured, we couldn't make their meal any MORE awkward, right?! They obliged me and we got some great pics of the peck. One terrible pic I will not mention here and it need not be posted on facebook!
So we got our "eat in" orders turned "to go" and hightailed it out of that joint sweetly singing "I feel pretty" at the top of our lungs. We said goodbye to Karolina, the brave new mommy of 6 week old Alexandia who was alone for the first time that night with daddy, Demetri. She said farewell as she pulled up beside us in her Porche!! Sexy Mommy!!
Next it was off to Kitchener. I was navigator again but this time the destination was only an address...no name of venue so I didn't know what we were up to. We achieved our destination and met up with the gaggle. Veronica welcomed us into her POLEDANCING studio!! We all got changed into our poledancing clothes, mine kindly pilfered from my bedroom, and joined Veronica on the floor...literally. We also learned to lapdance. We learned the body slide, the body walk, the body wave and so, so much more. Then we partnered up and demonstrated our newly acquired skills for our partners. I've never felt so close to these girls!! Next we learned some pole basics and not so basics. We were spinning around and working those poles in no time. We also couldn't resist climbing UP the poles and sliding down like firefighters. I swear to you, some of my friends must have been pole dancers in their past lives because we were HOT! Our loud, chatty, happy group went overtime but Veronica (extraordinary dancer btw) was very gracious, I hope she enjoyed herself too.
So we reassembled ourselves and headed out. But where to on a Wednesday night in Kitchener?! We thought we'd go back to Guelph to try our luck there but as luck has it, as we were walking towards the cars, we turned a corner and found our spot! Bobby O'Brien's...I think, with a HUGE outdoor patio complete with beach volleyball setup! We couldn't resist and we headed over with trepidations because Jo forgot her ID! Luck was with us again, the bouncer let us in when we told him Jo was a mommy and from Holland ^_^ The vibe was fantastic and after only one whiskey sour I was on the court with some friendly strangers having a bang up time playing beach volleyball. I was quickly joined by Shayna, Anneke and Sara and we got our game on. We had so much fun and the game opened the door for me to accomplish another WTF card from Em. I had to get a guy to buy me a drink and Peter generously did just so. Then I got some more cheek kisses and yelled as loud as I could (like Xena Warrior Princess) "I'm getting married this Saturday!!" (another WTF dare). I got lots of cheers. After finishing my last whiskey sour/rum'n'coke we were thinking about packing it in. That's when the rain started. Naturally that sent us screaming down the sidewalks to our cars in the pouring rain, pausing only to run around the street cleaner and hug voraciously in the middle of the street.
The drive home was a spectacular display of lightening and through the miracle of texting, we all were able to sleep soundly knowing everyone got home okay.
I hadn't slept so well in weeks.
Love you my girls xoxoxoxox Erin
